WHY I NEED TO GET OUT OF MISSOURI
[The parking lot of Wal-Mart. Waiting for a lady to get out of her car so I can get inside of mine. Lady taking her sweet time. Lady finally sees me.]
Lady: Oh, I’m sorry. [still sitting in her car with her door open. still not moving.]
Me: [nothing]
Lady: Don’t speak English?
Me: I speak English you ass!
The family joke is that we can never go to Wal-Mart without some type of incident, but it’s not really funny any more. Situations like this make me want to go back into my cave and not come out for a very long time.
